I am Laurella-Crystal Hampden.

I have not the power of a grenade, nor even pistol.

I didn’t hope to choose between my brother and my duty to fight.

It has been approximately 20 years since I last saw him and back then, we were barely teenagers. Developing our own independence came easily when we both set forth to participate in our respective agoges. This is where we perfunctorily trained ourselves in the bid to reach our peak physical conditions. We had all lost touch with each other, especially with Nathaniel who had fallen severely ill; even reaching temporary blindness at one point. After quickly making a visit to the Healers with him, we were devastated to discover that Nathaniel would be unable to take part in the traditional orientation process which would enlist him into the defence force – upon hearing this, we were certain that Satan had signed his mark on Nathanial which would whisk him instantly away to a shunned life. It was impossible that any young individual, especially one whom was male, could be refused from their destiny of fighting bravely for their nation. Finding that he was no longer of use, he joined the rest of the variously disabled citizens in exile. Contact with him was understandably difficult; even the slightest hint from either party communicating would send forth the “innocent” party to the road where the “punished” had been sent to come to terms with their fate.

Concurrently, Joseph had enrolled himself to a different sort of agoge; an agoge which had him sign himself a deal that would eternally discontinue the connection between him and the Polyneisians. Joseph had always been the more radical brother – the type who’d refused to return home from Jarring Training until it was atleast several hours past the first call back. No one thought twice about this, as everyone considered his behaviour the sort which could pass as simply one of supreme commitment. Still, I had often noticed during his later form years that he’d become distant to the rest of us. His actions soon no longer could be reasoned down to youthful defiance, but of dangerous dark ambition. Fighting for the Polyneisian state was no longer on par with his values, his beliefs, his psyche.

So bearing all this in mind, his unannounced appearance at the extinguished village came to my attention that day was coupled with extreme wariness; of what his motives might’ve been, I was still unsure. It seemed unlikely that he would attack me…but then his disposition had indeed, vastly changed from what I knew of it 20 years ago. It is currently a period of uncertainty and anxiety, reflected most definitely in the rhythms of the world that I’m inhabiting now.

I know I must stop Joseph in order to fulfil the decrees of nation law – protect the state: the state is your family – but I must enlist in the power of a beast hex in order to come even remotely close to succeeding.

I have trouble ressurecting.

I doubt my call of duty.

There is always a way out – every friendly exit sign comes with a light attached to guide the way. The call of duty for me comes to my attention; however, there is a need for re-evaluation. For what is the appropriate thing to do when your family gets into the sticky business? Is your family worth more than the nation. The very notion of protecting the nation has been indoctrinated so deep into everyone’s conscience, that there leaves absolutely no room to defy it. It almost does not require a second thought, to intrinsically believe that your country is your family.

Find me the means to an end to the confusion that surrounds this conundrum.